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Christmas is almost here! All gifts are wrapped and under the tree.....appetizer ingredients have been bought and are ready to be put together for Christmas Eve....everything is ready. But are we? Have we lost ourselves in our rush to the season? Are we only worried about ourselves and what we have to do....mired in our own daily existence, unable to see past the fog of what's wrong in our lives? I've tried to do my best. It's been so hard since we lost so much in the fire. I've tried to be positive, and keep my best side showing. I've never tried to feel sorry for myself, but project an attitude of "we can get this thing done"......... When you're young, you don't see the wrong in what you do and say, or in the people around you. When you get older, you begin to see your faults and see cracks in the facades of people you always thought were right about everything. In essence, you mature and realize people are human. It's hard though. Hard not to be in your home, and have the rhythms of your everyday life around you. Hard to keep yourself together....... This Christmas season, has been hard. I may look to you at first glance that I have it all together, but I don't. Inside I'm a mess.....just ask my husband. My husband, who has been more to me in the last four months than he's ever been. We're trying to keep it together for the kids, who are also ready just to be home. Maybe we've kept it together for so long, we need a day just to fall apart. Not just yet though....we have a few more weeks to go. I think I can make it.......

My New Years Resolutions are as follows...(these might be good for everyone!):

----learn the power of our tongues...they are a weapon.
----think before we speak....this goes along with the tongue thing!
----realize there's more people in the world than ourselves.
----step out of our comfort zone and do things that might scare us...it gives us power!
----NEGATIVITY KILLS.
----we don't always have to state our opinion and always be right.
----our way of doing things isn't the only one in the world--other people know how to do things too....they just might be different.

That's my little rant......and don't worry----I'm okay! I'm so looking forward to Christmas Eve tomorrow night when all the family comes. It's the best time of the year. All the platters dripping with rich appetizers.......meandering around the festive table just being glad we have such a bounty. Caroling around the neighborhood and for my Grandma in the nursing home. Watching the kids open their exchange gifts, that light still in their eyes for the wonder of Christmas. Going to bed, and still hoping.....just hoping to hear reindeer hooves on the roof. May the excitement and blessing of Christmas stay with us even when it might be hard to feel it. I pray that my Dad will be home for Christmas---he's in the hospital getting fluid drained again. Help us, Oh Lord, to see the reason for the season once again. Refresh us, and renew us.

Merry Christmas to all!