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Showing posts from August, 2013

Finding my voice.

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I never claimed to be perfect. I never said I wouldn't make mistakes.  I'm trying to claim my words in this imperfect world. This world where being something different than the norm is set just slightly, ever so unnoticeable, to the side of what is supposed to be right.  What is right?  Who are you to decide what is right? I have lots of things swimming around in this slightly different brain of mine. It seems I've found the voice I never had as the younger version of me. The one who craved people's approval more than the vast and complex ideas that were present even then.  I want to avenge this girl and the lost dreams she had. The ones that were swallowed up by others so she could feel accepted. Wanted. Loved.  If only we could feel in our teen years what life has given us in our forties. The knowledge, the confidence, and the ideas that want to burst into light. The knowing that no one's approval is needed or even asked for. That you don't have t

Time is slipping away...

Time is slipping away as back to school approaches My son says that when August hits summer is over. It’s soccer practice, school shopping, and the countdown to the classroom starts. As I write this it’s two weeks until high school starts and 3 1/2 until we take Selena to college in Indiana. I’m trying to let that sink into my bones for a minute and just rest there. One more child gone from the nest and one remains for me to dote on: one more season of soccer to scream at, one more set of senior pictures to take and one more homecoming dance and prom. One.  As the kids have gotten older, school shopping has gotten easier. I remember the days of complicated lists full of binders, a certain style of paper, protractors, pencil boxes and loads of tissues. Glue had to be just the right kind as did the pencil style. What happened to Goldenrod tablets and thick, black pencils with the huge erasers? We made it through and now all we need is the 10 cent Walmart notebooks and a few pens and pe

The Sweet Summer Oblivion

Looking for small successes in the sweet summer oblivion This summer won’t hold many savings for me. Small successes, sure, but big ones? I’m trying but I can’t seem to locate them. This summer season I came screeching to a grinding halt – prom, college graduation trip, birthday party for 70, then another graduation with a party for many. June came along and I breathed a sigh of relief. Too short-lived, it was, because July is in full swing with two soccer tournament weekends under our belts – and next week is August. Already. My youngest son will be a senior this year and I told myself I would attend every summer event. Attend I did and I have no regrets, though my wallet seems a bit slimmer these days. Thank God for sharing a hotel room with a friend and splitting things up. These days will be gone in a glimmer so I take them all in, spend what I need to and have fun in the process.  My middle daughter is heading for college at the end of August. I’m avoiding my feelings for the ti