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Monday, October 24, 2016

We are Ghosts

"We are ghosts to you. We don't exist until you want our sympathy or help. You don't think your vote will really count, because you want to see what "happens." It's a vote against us and you don't see that. It's a vote against me. We are ghosts until you want us, but we were never there if you didn't see us until it counted." -quoted by someone I love, 9/24


I am lost. 
Awash.
Drifting in a sea of distractions.
Fraught and edgy.
Simple and deep.
My thoughts betray me
and I cannot sleep.

We the people. No longer are we the people we say we are. 

We are washed in the blood of Jesus and drowning in our own hypocrisy. We cry out for the blood to flow from the bodies of our brothers and sisters in lands far away - those who cry for our help - as well as turn a blind eye to the ones dying in our streets at alarming levels, shouting, "He should have listened." 

We cry "Save the babies!" while we kill those in prisons for crimes committed, by injection or the slow burn of hatred. Or in war, our soldiers dying and the twisted collateral damage of the beautiful faces from the land they're bombing. Do they not matter? Do the bodies burned and blackened mean less than lives in our clean, non-war-torn tidy nation? 

Is one life of more worth than another? 

My prayers have stopped flowing and my mind is a mess. This election season has dimmed a light inside of me that once knew tiny fractions of truth and goodness. I walked through an idyllic life, sheltered from most duress and harm, knowing that mostly things would turn out well. 

Good.
Pleasant.
Nice.

But we are no longer nice. None of us. I lean one way, you lean the other and we play a vicious tug of war with words that have the unpleasant ring of ugliness and spite. Our civility is mired inside precious packets of "I love Jesus and he loves you too!'

But Jesus loves us all, not just those you deem worthy to be loved. 

Jesus loves the babies aborted, and loves the moms who made a wrenching choice as well. He doesn't love them less nor heap judgmental words on them. We kill too, in different ways. We kill every time we say, "Those people are so lazy. Get 'em off welfare! They're leeching off of us!" Where did the love for that unborn baby go? Does it transfer to the mom, struggling to survive, or only to the baby as it's growing in utero? Does God judge the soldier who killed ten men in battle? Isn't each life the same if this is the context we view it in?

I am strong and solid.
I am filled with good words.
But I have stopped the flow of them.

Why?

The atmosphere in my area is thick as butter, dripping and melty. There are signs, countless signs, showing support for one who hates people I love. The immigrant, the different, the one with skin that is brown, the one who has loved me day and night, unconditionally, for twenty-eight years. The one who has shown love, spread love, been selfless to the point of not being able to anymore. The one I love who has been peppered at every place he goes, on every angle. 

He uses his words in a second language learned.
A language he learned on his own.
And uses today and every day.

Things he is not: rapist, thug, killer, drug dealer

Things he is: husband, lover, father, business owner, thriver

Things my bi-racial children are: entrepreneur, business owner, movie-maker, public speaker of words, girlfriend, boyfriend, women, man, human

Productive people, giving the gift of their talents to this country. Not people to be thrown out because of fear. 

Countless discussions on this election, some with family and some with friends, have yielded differences of opinion. I've mostly shut off as I struggle to understand the contradictions that are being displayed. Six months ago a Transgender person simply could never use a bathroom with your children, and now someone who demeans women is simply "talking locker room banter." Decide which way you're standing, friends. 

"We just want to see what he does. He's surrounded himself with good people." 

Why are you voting for the people surrounding him? You are using him to further the agenda of conservative supreme court justices that you think will repeal things you bleed for. Things you believe deserve the utmost merit. But can't you see? There is so much more than a single-issue vote. 

There is widespread hatred that has spread uncontrollably, frighteningly. There is hatred from the one you would want, the one who would see mass deportations and people denied their right of religion - whatever religion that is. If it's not yours can you see it's worth? 

Would you find our country shut off, sealed, from the world? Would you feel safer then?

We have been affected. Jobs, our life blood, have become scarce because his rhetoric has been believed and found to be true. We've lost jobs and battled mightily for nine months, hesitantly wondering what was happening. Then it hit us. It was him. His words were working. And we were floored, yet determined.

Your vote is yours to cast, heavy and dull in your hands. 
But remember there is more than just your issue,
the one you hold too tightly, too close to your chest.


"We are ghosts to you. We don't exist until you want our sympathy or help. You don't think your vote will really count, because you want to see what "happens." It's a vote against us and you don't see that. It's a vote against me. We are ghosts until you want us, but we were never there if you didn't see us until it counted." -quoted by someone I love, 9/24








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