Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Weepy old repost alert

WEEPY OLD REPOST ALERT! #graduationweek

Taking a plunge you’ve never taken before is scary. It’s a leap of faith that goes like this – JUST JUMP. My bones feel slightly achy and my head is a little light-headed from the braveness that I’m feeling from taking that plunge, yet here we go ready or not. This wheel of life keeps turning faster and faster and I find myself at an age I thought ancient before. Yet, I don’t feel ancient. I feel fresh and free, ready to be at the center, for once, of where God wants me to be. How remarkable it feels to actually be obedient to a calling you know is yours. Most of us stay in the safety of the known, the proximity to what is near and familiar. Then there are the dreamers, those of us – money or not – who have a grand scheme of what we should be doing and try to get there – sink or swim. I’m swimming furiously as I type.

I’ve written before of things my heart longed for as a girl fresh out of school: finding my mate, having children, raising them and being content. All of those things have been done and nearly finished. I stayed at home with my kids and raised them the best way I knew how. I woke up every morning and swished chocolate milk in a cup for them with a straw, filled the small plastic pools with water for them to splash around in, and attended every single sporting event, band concert and play they were ever in. I cried with them when they lost spelling bees, traveled many miles because they forgot soccer shoes or shin guards and read them the same book night after night because no other would do. When life seemed simply not doable anymore, I picked them up and brushed them off and said go – there will be worse things you have to go through. I used soft words when needed and hard ones when the temptation for self-pity set in. I believe I made them strong when my insides only wanted to hold them forever. My last one is poised to leave and though my stomach feels like Jell-O, I know I’ve come to that crossroad every parent eventually reaches. The kids will be gone, so what do I do now? 

Most are content to live out their lives doing what they’ve always done, somewhat lost without their kids schedules to guide them. But I declare, this day, that this is now the start of the rest of MY life. I declare a beginning to traveling with my husband to places we’ve never been before. I claim my passion in writing and networking to be what brings me to peace and center of God’s will. I refuse to sit around and be sad that my kids are now gone. Why should I be sad? They are claiming what is theirs and finding their passions as well. I’ve done the job I was meant to do. I now claim the rest of my life and aim to live it well and full of good and exciting things. And I’m off!