Monday, March 24, 2014

Love is found in the tiny details of life

Check out my article on The Holmes Bargain Hunter

It is about the small things, you know, in case no one ever told you. This life we live, unfolding and weaving unsteadily, at times rolling us along with it in its sometimes forceful way. We focus on the things in front of our faces – money, bills, home improvements, cars that work then sometimes die – and we focus on these things until we can’t see anything else around us. 

I’ve used the word “minutiae” before and I want to use it again: Minutiae; the small, precise, or trivial details of something. Trivial means this: of little value or importance. Before I turn this into a vocabulary lesson, I must say that this, dear friends, is what we overlook in our lives. It is the small, trivial things that go unnoticed. The things that are part of the mundane ordinary that don’t create an echo into space yet make up the thousands of minutes of our lives. These are what we need to capture. To keep. To hold tightly so the big things don’t crowd them out.

How many times has your husband cleaned off your car with the cold and snowy winter we’ve had? Have you seen him come in the door and brush himself off as you go about the busyness of your moment? Do you acknowledge this or is it another part of the daily trivial tapestry of your life? Do you thank him? Every time I walk out to my car I see the path my husband and son created for me to walk through. This, so I don’t have to walk in deep snow and get my shoes wet. In this I see love. 

I see love in the way my husband sits beside me on the couch every evening. He could bury himself in a paper and fall asleep, but with coffee in hand we sit and chat about our day. Trivial details, the minutiae of life can be boring at best, but when shared with someone else it becomes important. It is part of a shared life. That couch, over the course of an evening, may pile up with magazines, books, remote controls, and phones, but he is only as far away as my hand can reach. I see love in this. I see small things like a rubbing of tired feet or a tiny smile that can light up a day. This is the minutiae of life. This is what life is made of. 

Valentine’s Day will be over when you read this. This is why I am writing now, when the roses are just starting to wilt and the chocolates are nestled in your belly. When the time has passed for the mandatory public display of love and just like that the cards full of hearts are now on the clearance rack on sale for pennies. The jewelry commercials and their anxiety-ridden themes have disappeared with haste. It’s time to move the next holiday in.

Love, among the trivial details of life, must remain. Don’t wait on one force fed holiday to show your love to one another. Instead of waiting on that day to cook a spectacular meal, fix small treats throughout the year that you know he or she will like. Don’t wait until that day to go to a fancy restaurant with all the bells and whistles – take the time once or twice a month to seek out tiny bistros that feature specials, or holes in the wall that serve the best greasy food around. Better yet, sit in a darkened theater as a matinee comes up on screen and hold hands as you pass the buttery popcorn bowl to share. These tiny thrilling moments are what make up a life filled with love. We wait so often for the big things to happen that the obscure minutiae get overlooked. And that, my friends, is where the love awaits. Look for it, search for it, and hold on to it before it gets lost in the bigger things of life.