I woke up very gently this Saturday morning. These weekend mornings are for leisurely stretching your legs and curling back up into a warm fetal position. I could tell by the way the traffic moved outside my curtains that something had changed in the weather overnight. When you live in Ohio you just know by the soft grayness to the edges of your bedroom that it has snowed. The muffled sound that the tires make, the gentle sound the world has to it. I also received a text by a good friend, a good snow buddy friend, telling me to look outside to see what Mother Nature had gifted us through the midnight hours. It was a pleasurable awakening. The coffee brewing, that strong pungent smell that wafts through the house makes a Saturday so pleasant. Not that the Monday coffee smell is any different, it's just a lazier smell that lets you know you have no place you have to go - not a hurry in the world. Pajamas, at 3:15 in the afternoon as I write this, are still firmly clinging to my body. Pleasure at it's finest.
I believe in not committing to too many things. Not that I won't help out with something, or go where a friend is in need. My family, and especially now since I'm working, needs time to be together. The kids are teenagers, and yes they go. They will go on a whim and hang out, or just drive around. Kids will come to our house just to chill and watch movies. There is something to be said, though, for a family sitting in the living room just being. Newspapers spread out on the floor, TV on whether we're watching or not, sleeping on the couch at 4:00 in the afternoon just because we can. We have made a conscious choice to be the family that does this. That doesn't fill up our days with "things" just because we can't function together. We are not perfect. We have those talks with our kids when they roll their eyes and wish they were in another room. Head on, though, we've chosen to address what we feel our family needs.
I see couples, so many couples, that don't communicate. Or simply get up and go about their day just because it's what they've always done. The husband leaves, eats at the local restaurant, goes to work, comes home, hides behind the paper, and goes to bed. The wife gets up, husband is already gone, she gets the kids on the bus, she goes to the local coffee shop and chats with a friend, goes shopping, then heads to whatever activity is in store for the evening. I may have been this person had my husband not forced me to look at him and converse. It's so easy to go on cruise control and let your other half pick up the slack, and not have a real conversation with them - to avoid them. Cruise control is bad for a marriage. When two people become apathetic, the marriage suffers - and so do the kids.
"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable." ~David Augsburger