That poke in the back

I'm filled with a longing this morning to dip inside myself and find what I know I am.  I want to work from home.  I want to write and create and be self sufficient within the framework of our family.  I struggle with these truths, then turn the other way and know I love the check I receive from working outside the home.  Money earned on other people's time is easy.

It's hard to earn a check from doing it yourself.  Or rather, I should say it's harder to stay on track and get things done that need done to work from home.  In the end though, it's what I long for.  I want an office that I can go to and write, unobstructed, letting fragments of thoughts pop to the surface.  Those fragments blossom and expand into stories and moments that I know I can catch and make into a story.

A different set of thoughts and opportunities have recently been thrown around and talked about.  It's something that along with the writing, could make a decent cash flow.

I know I'm a whimsical dreamer who is able to buckle down and do work when necessary.  What I need is a framework in which to put it in.  I need boundaries and deadlines.  I need a plan that will enable my brain to wrap itself around what needs to get done.  When I stay on task, things get done.

I've been reading a series of articles from The Money Saving Mom, who is a blogger like me.  She's been able to buckle down and make all sorts of residual income.  She is an inspiration, even though she's much younger than me, and it makes me feel that I can accomplish what I want to do.

When my kids were small, I never thought I would have time to myself.  Now that I do, I want to make that time productive.  I want to produce and put out there what should have been done a long time ago.  That aching, or some could call it nagging, that keeps poking me in the back is God telling me keep going.  Keep. Going.